Zywa Big Heart [2]

Alone. Between lonely hearts
understanding misunderstood others
with attention, my password
the master key in my genes

Kicking I already did it
not yet capable of anything else
as a baby, as a grownup
no one should unlearn it

no one should claim it
when he feels hurt
by hurt people, wronged
by the world

of sham adults
Come, I'm coming, just swallow
your reproaches
for a kiss

Poem 4698
Amsterdam, 2022-09-30

Becoming Mona (Griet Op de Beeck) (2014)
"Kom hier dat ik u kus" ("Becoming Mona"; 2014, boek by Griet Op de Beeck; 2020, film by Sabine Lubbe Bakker and Niels van Koevorden)
"Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" (1967, Paul McCartney, The Beatles)
Avalokitesvara (Lord who gazes down [at the world], a Bodhisattva [Being of enlightenment]) / Guanshiyin / Sacred Heart (of Jesus)

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Sympathy / Compassion 
Tribute to: Op de Beeck, Griet 
Tribute to: The Beatles 
 

A lie for a lie,

doom for doom and fear for fear --


The truth is missing.


Leugen om leugen,Lüge um Lüge,
doem om doem en angst om angst --Not um Not und Angst um Angst --
De waarheid is zoek.Es fehlt die Wahrheit.

Poem S2053
Amsterdam, 2023-12-16

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Power: manipulation 
Keyword: Truth: lie 
 

Zywa At the bench

At the bench, just before
we get there, he reaches
for the ground

and sits down
but he doesn't seem to know how
he doesn't seem to be well, I wait

A municipal man comes
to see and he calls for help, sirens
My companion is carefully laid down

A woman presses her arms
around me and holds me
caressing me

Others are watching
tirelessly his chest rises
after every push, another push

I'm still not allowed
to go to him, I'm waiting
it can't be right

that he stays down
that he is not on the bench
that he doesn't talk to me

Poem 5461
Amsterdam, 2024-03-16

On the death of a neighbour while walking his dog on March 14th, 2024
Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Animals: dog 
Keyword: Death: dying 
 

Zywa Wisdom

Paying attention to as little
as possible, saving my energy
only vaguely watching at the edge
what is happening and imitating
what the others are doing

just behaving normally, as expected
I have been coming here for that long
and it also feels that familiar
when I go through the door
and see where I am

Not making mistakes
being silent and seeming to be
as wise as I actually am
but no longer on demand
only confirming or cautiously

saying hm with a nod
benevolent and waiting
for further explanation if
the other person dares
or likes to speak

Poem 5470
Amsterdam, 2024-03-25

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Body: decline 
Keyword: Wisdom / Stupidity 
 

The muffled silence

of fine drizzling rain, with cows --


pulling at the grass.


Gedempte stilteGedämpfte Stille
van fijne regen, koeien --von feinem Regen, Kühe --
trekken aan het gras.ziehen an das Gras.

Poem H0554
Amsterdam, 2013-08-15

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Silence 
 

Zywa The waiting days

Unbearably itching
are the days of waiting
for the wound to heal

Deliriously thin I dream
of precisely that one person
to be happy with

My reserves are running out
When will the wind turn?
It isn't bringing any rain

Will my patience come to an end
or will someone come instead
to stand still with me?

Is the waiting unlearning me
much too late the waiting
and shall I get extra time

to live?

Poem 1207
Amsterdam, 2017-03-13

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Waiting 
 

Recreation time:

children twirling around me --


at multiple arms.


Het is speelkwartier,In der Spielrunde
de kinderen zwieren rond --wirbeln die Kinder herum --
aan vele armen.an vielen Armen.

Poem H0034
Amsterdam, 2011-11-26

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Joy 
 

Zywa For later

Puss plays puma and we
imitate the adults, lug
dress-up trunks and a bag
(stored for later)

to the bushes, for the party
with lots of ditchbeer and sand
pastries, carrots, lemonade
and old-fashioned fun

uncle Francis flirts with the girls
the baker laughs at his jokes
mama is the boss at the bar and
the neighbours comment

After three rounds it's really bedtime
for the little ones: just wait
until you're grown up, then you may
party as often as you like

Poem 1158
Amsterdam, 2017-03-08

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Playing: 
 

The river ripples

all the time: from wind, the ships --


and from people's dreams.


De rivier rimpeltDer Fluß kräuselt sich
altijd: van wind, de schepen --immer: vom Wind, den Schiffen --
en mensendromen.und Menschenträumen.

Poem H1041
, 2014-11-04

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Dreaming 
 

Zywa Sun spots

In the bend of the brook

my mind sinks away
between sun spots of gliding
water and suspended shades

of green. Nothing is floating
against the current. Under
the water level, I feel

space for secrets
shelters of what
will be the future, maybe

My friends light candles
and will talk on the way back
about the boys on the benches

but I prefer to sit quietly
under the sacred oak trees
in the bend of the brook

Poem 1210
Amsterdam, 2017-03-13

Chapel the Sacred Oak on the Beerze (in 1400 the statue of Mary was stolen from the oak, but it drifted back upstream)
Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Expectation 
Keyword: Brabant% 
Dedicated to: Dory dK 
 

Together we build

houses as homes to live in --


and to be alone.


Samen bouwen weZusammen bauen
huizen om in te wonen --wir Häuser zum Wohnen -- und
en alleen te zijn.zum Alleine sein.

Poem H0026
Amsterdam, 2011-11-25

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: People: individuals 
 

Zywa Homesafe

The hearth protects
the fire, and me against the fire
the house protects
against the fire from outside

the men and the boys
who flare up everywhere
in the flanks of the houses
they want to come inside

rage and beat to death
and then, with dry eyes
extinguish in ashes and impotence
that is the danger

to my inside world
of kitchen and bed
where I veil
my dull days

Poem 1214
Amsterdam, 2017-03-13

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: People: men 
 

He asks: please love me;

I am holding my breath, oh --


willing wariness.


Hij vraagt: houd van mij;Er fragt: liebe mich;
ik houd mijn adem in, ach --ich halte den Atem, ach --
wilwelweifeling.Möchteschonschwankung.

Poem S0040
Amsterdam, 2012-02-07

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Doubt 
 

Zywa Confused

Maybe
it was a dream, fairy-tale
real for him

when he came in and saw me
lying on the bed
without waking up

Maybe
he first looked for a while
until it, all of a sudden, happened by itself

and was done quickly
I screamed
and he fled confusedly

Maybe
he wanted to stay, satisfied, to continue
enjoying my sleeping beauty

A voice asked where we were
I walked out, through the garden
and overlooked the street

Poem 1213
Amsterdam, 2017-03-13

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Abuse (at home) 
 

Do not touch me, you

are not the one, but please, stay --


with me for a while.


Raak me niet aan, jijFass mich nicht an, du
bent de ware niet, maar blijf --bist nicht derjenige, bleib --
nog even bij me.aber doch bei mir.

Poem H0508
Amsterdam, 2013-07-14

Choreography 'Noli me tangere' (1991, Rotterdam)
Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Contact: touch(ed) 
Dedicated to: Kristien vR 
 

Zywa Anything but

Talking to men
who I don't know
singing along with the music

on which I dance in the eyes
that follow me
like shadows

wishing to be desired
without being in danger
dressed for it, that too

is who I am, free
to the extent it is permitted
by the hell

of other people's eyes
that love my body
and hate me for it

but that's not me
I am anything
but what they think

Poem 1164
Amsterdam, 2017-03-08

No Exit (Jean-Paul Sartre) (1943)
One act play "Huis clos" ("No Exit" / "Closed doors")
Everyone's freedom of action is limited by the judging look of other people

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Freedom: 
Tribute to: Sartre, Jean-Paul 
 

Outside the window

I saw darkness, with the sun --


reflected in it.


Ik zag duisternisIch sah Finsternis
buiten het raam, en de zon --im Fenster, und die Sonne --
erin weerspiegeld.sich darin spiegeln.

Poem H0291-45
Train Tilburg-Amsterdam, 2012-05-19

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Ethics: vices 
 

Zywa Weighing tree

She has got me, she will
lock me up with snakes
or spiders or skin me
alive, roast me, suck me out
or bewitch me, I'm lost

Why did I venture myself
in the tree, wriggle me
through the split
curious, perhaps
bewitched already

What was I looking for?
To learn to know myself
an underground me
entangled in the roots
in this wild woman's den?

I want to get out
Yes go
obedient soul, always clean
the exit is easy to find
just take a look in the mirror!


I see weapons in my hands
I see my face, it is hard
I climb out of my scale
as heavy as she
as light as she

Poem 1221
Amsterdam, 2017-03-14

Baba Yaga, the old witch
Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Identity:  
 

I dance foot by foot

hoping not to hurt myself --


on anyone's eyes.


Ik dans voet voor voetFuß nach Fuß tanzen
om mij niet te bezeren --um mich nicht zu verletzen --
aan iemands ogen.an alle Augen.

Poem H0375
Amsterdam, 2012-10-26

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Danger 
 

Zywa A life of my own

On the edge, I'm dripping out
from my jumps in men

their nice words
sex and impatience

Wishing to give each other everything but
not knowing how subsequently

to lead a life of our own
Thinking about that for so long

that it is a problem
insoluble for logic

from which it originated
and elusive

for my unrest that fears
to miss opportunities

and is distracted
by the laughing and dancing

of the passing people who
did not pay attention to me
did not pay attention to mé

on the edge, dripping
from unappreciated beauty

on the edge, dripping
from unappreciated desire

Poem 1793
Amsterdam, 2018-06-22

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Love: wish (thought) 
 

I recognized you,

cheered up I quickened my step --


but it was not you.


Ik herkende jou,Ich erkannte dich,
en versnelde blij mijn pas --beschleunigte meinen Gang --
maar je was het niet.aber du warst's nicht.

Poem H0024
Amsterdam, 2011-11-25

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: In love:  
 

Zywa If he ever

He is in the hallway. Shall I
touch him, let my fingers run

through his hair, play with his shirt
tickle his body, shall I

arouse him and give the finest?
Cheerfully I say good morning, walk on

close my door, my eyes, him
in my arms on the edge

of my bed, to feel
what I would do if he ever

should take the step to unfasten
hooks with me and

Poem 1208
Amsterdam, 2017-03-13

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Desire: lust 
 

My fingertips are

sailing deep under water --


through the distant clouds.


Met mijn vingertopMet Fingerspitzen
vaar ik diep onder water --fahr' ich tief unter Wasser --
door verre wolken.durch ferne Wolken.

Poem H0087
Amsterdam, 2011-12-17

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Fantasy: 
 

Zywa Waves

School and home, everything
on this side of the river
discussed with friends

On the other bank
only sheep
no view

of gleaming roofs
a sweet old fairy
doing the laundry

or a boy
taking a dive
nothing special, but

still, tingles inside
which make me paddle and
for a minute, float, through waves

of excitement in my body
propelled by the chance
of overwhelming happiness

Poem 1218
Amsterdam, 2017-03-14

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Love: wish (thought) 
 

After the crossing

I've tea with the ferryman --


no need to travel.


Na de overzetNach der Überfahrt
drink ik thee met de veerman --trink' ich Tee mit dem Fährmann --
ik hoef nergens heen.ich muss nicht weiter.

Poem H0153
Julianadorp, 2012-01-01

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Calm: harmony 
 

Zywa On the other side

He sets out two cups, puts water
on the fire to which I warm myself
says sweet words and says
that I don't have to worry

can safely go to sleep and certainly
must not hide between walls
of fear, because because
we have friends

all we know is already there for a long time
all we give is not ours
but received, because we are there
for each other, and he embraces me

silently in front of the window
I surrender in his scent
hand in hand
we watch the stars

hand in hand
they proceed over the sky
on the other side of the river
smoke is circling

peace

Poem 1219
Amsterdam, 2017-03-14

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Peace: 
 

Modelling a man,

gently folding hands and heart --


all around my love.


Een man boetseren,Einen Mann formen,
zijn handen en hart vouwen --Hände und Herz sanft falten --
rondom mijn liefde.um meine Liebe.

Poem S0199
Amsterdam, 2014-05-22

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Love: romance 
 

Zywa Love invites

The idea pushes me to later
to looking back on my life
since the answer

I am going to give now
to his question, his second
proposal: he wants a child

He sits on my stomach
looking so seductive and sweet
that I wish to

keep it as it is
with the two of us and the pill
better I don't say anything

pull him over to me
kiss his eyes shut
and attack

Poem 1215
Amsterdam, 2017-03-13

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Love: Give To Be 
 

Love is touching me:

her hands are a pair of suns --


soft like a baby.


Liefde raakt me aan:Liebe berührt mich:
haar handen zijn twee zonnen --ihre Hände sind Sonnen --
zacht als een baby.weich wie ein Baby.

Poem H0291-39
Amsterdam, 2012-04-29

Reiki
Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Reiki^ 
 

Zywa Big heart

All beginnings are difficult, but
shall his heart grow with mine
and will not-matching sensitivities

be given a warm place anyway?
Can it be big like an elephant?

It already is, trumpets one
yeah ha ha ha, stamp the others
grandma Phant blows my hair in a mess

don't hold on to your questions
she says, better come with us

She trunks me between her ears
chatting about phants and people
with their peculiarities

we reach a wide field
of waving colours

The children phants start tasting them
crushing more flowers than they pick
but with love, new ones grow

you see, grandma Phant says
it's easy

if you give space to the sun

Poem 1220
Amsterdam, 2017-03-14

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Love: Give To Be 
 

The field is ready,

freshly washed and tightly combed --


waiting for its clothes.


De akker ligt klaar,Das Feld liegt bereit,
gewassen en strak gekamd --gewaschen und straff gekämmt --
wachtend op kleren.wartend auf Kleider.

Poem H0291-44
Train Amsterdam-Arnhem, 2012-05-19

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Body: procreation 
 

Zywa In the garden

It is too much in one day:
gown, hair and pearl necklace
the guests

throwing white seeds
in the garden of vows
and we

wading through too much
too much to be able to forget it
too much to be able to remember it

too symbolic to be real
too real to believe in it
too large to not believe it

too marvellous to be able to make it come true
too true to ignore it
too unique to get up with it

so we do it over again every day
sitting down together for a while
in the garden of vows

Poem 1198
Amsterdam, 2017-03-12

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Marriage / Wedding 
 

You bring a coffee,

your hair loose, washed, lying down --


at my side again.


Je komt met koffie,Du kommst mit Kaffee,
je haren los, gewassen --dein Haar locker, gewaschen --
weer bij me liggen.legst dich wieder hin.

Poem H0112
Julianadorp, 2011-12-25

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Harmony: relaxation 
 

Zywa In the reeds

In the morning, barefoot
over dewy wet jetty planks
to the moss-green cobblestone shore

fishing birds
wind between my legs
no man to see

take a bag of food
from the box, carefully
close the cover again

the hatch to stone, steel and waste
the motorized world
full of problems

Only the two of us
in the little boatshelterhouse
a holiday paradise time long

Poem 1194
Amsterdam, 2017-03-11

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Holiday / Vacation 
 

We kiss each other,

know nothing, know everything --


that we do not know.


We kussen elkaar,Einander küssen,
weten niets, weten alles --nichts wissen, alles wissen --
wat we niet kennen.was wir nicht kennen.

Poem H0254
Amsterdam, 2012-02-12

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Love: bond 
 

Zywa Reading breath

Just as the wind, sometimes
drawing my belly
in the fabric of my dress
I am reading your soul
with the breath of my soul

my passion discovers
yours, who you are
and the boy you were

I read your desires
and your love for me
from the flowing glow

over your beating body
in the fragrantly brewing bed
of autumn leaves in which
you stretch out, inside out
read by me

Poem 1197
Amsterdam, 2017-03-12

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Contact: touch(ed) 
 

We play the guitars,

we sing and open our hearts --


to exchange our blood.


We spelen gitaar,Mit zwei Gitarren
we zingen ons hart open --unsere Herzen öffnen --
en mengen ons bloed.unser Blut mischen.

Poem H0186
Amsterdam, 2012-01-21

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Together: connected 
 

Zywa Flailing like butterflies

Together in the garden in the evening
done what was to be done
and said what was to be said

we wish nothing more

being connected
with the strange
the leaves, the flowers

and the blackbird not tired yet

flailing around like butterflies
we drink the nectar
and no longer have words

for who we are

I can hardly retell it
but something must have changed
we put on skin again

and felt blood flow

Poem 1159
Amsterdam, 2017-03-08

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Happiness (relaxation) 
Keyword: Animals: butterfly / moth 
 

The clown only laughs

at me, still I feel ashamed --


not to laugh as well.


De clown lacht zomaarDer Clown lacht einfach
om mij en toch schaam ik me --über mich, ich schäme mich --
niet mee te lachen.nicht mit zu lachen.

Poem H0161
Amsterdam, 2012-01-10

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Shame 
 

Zywa Ardently afraid

He is sweet, but a man
In order to protect me
he loses

himself in impotence
acting tall
doesn't want to be consolable

on his haunches in the corner
hesitates to change
and ponders about a miracle

from himself, hungrily
the fire beats out of his heart
searching for fuel and glory

seeking balance and afraid
to find it in the ashes
of his desires

Poem 1163
Amsterdam, 2017-03-08

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: People: men 
 

I am shy, you must

speak out my love, please do it --


I have been waiting.


Ik ben verlegen,Ich bin schüchtern, sprichst
spreek jij mijn liefde maar uit --du mal meine Liebe aus --
ik wacht al zo lang.ich wart schon lange.

Poem S0082
Amsterdam, 2013-06-27

In response to "Stoner" (1965, John Williams)
Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Shyness 
Tribute to: Williams, John 
 

Zywa In my hands, in your hands

Don't come closer, don't
talk about all kinds of things
I love you

If you agree, please
let my hands speak
I love you

Questions are just thoughts
your body does know better
I love you

You can't prove love
though there is proof enough
I love you

My love is always there

but not always
available, yet
then there is yours

Poem 1216
Amsterdam, 2017-03-14

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Love: bond 
 

Snow in my garden:

whiter without any prints --


next to my footprints.


Winter in mijn tuin:Ein weißer Garten:
witter zonder voetstappen --ohne unsere Spuren --
naast mijn voetstappen.nebeneinander.

Poem H0630
Amsterdam, 2013-10-14

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Missing:  
 

Zywa Different springs

One day melancholy came
to live in me
you are lonely

she said
you see the people
passing

and you think
they live
with hands and feet

you miss that
without knowing
your longing

maybe for the atmospheres
of the past
the different springs

when the days were new
you were immortal
and the world was yours

Poem 1209
Amsterdam, 2017-03-13

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Melancholy 
 

The afterglow heats

the roses that do not smell --


having shut their eyes.


Avondrood verwarmtDas Abendrot wärmt
de rozen die niet geuren --die Rosen die nicht riechen --
de ogen al toe.die Augen schon zu.

Poem H0345
Amsterdam, 2012-08-14

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Evening 
 

Zywa Rainsong

Love sings
of bravery eternally young
men wanting to be friend and foe
joy and sorrow

love sings
of beauty and heroes
born from their own lap


A hearts sings
everywhere and always the same
a sun song, a rainsong
the song of desire

a heart sings
if necessary of great pains
to extinguish them in its blood


Life sings
high and low in choruses
that love to charm themselves
with their own harmony

life sings
I soften my voice
to hear you

Poem 43
Train Amsterdam-Leeuwarden, 2006-01-14

Sapere (sapio) = to taste; to be wise, to understand
Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Desire: lust 
 

I am alone now,

you'll never call again, just --


your chair is still there.


Nu zit ik alleen,Allein, nie wieder
nu jij nooit meer belt, alleen --wirst du mich anrufen, nur --
jouw stoel er nog is.dein Stuhl ist noch da.

Poem H1083
Amsterdam, 2014-12-05

For Simon Bon, after his father's death (early November 2012)
Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Missing:  
Dedicated to: Simon B 
 

Zywa Don't know anymore

I'm an open book, sentence by sentence
lifelong, but who is reading it?
I have a husband or had one
I don't know, but he disappeared

I've been good to him
after all, I miss him most of all
what treasure came in his way
so dazzling that he forgot me?

It's empty here, if only I had someone
suitors aspiring to my hand
the winner gets except me
this house and the staff with it

     The sisters take good care
     as long as you play solitaire
     and rud rud ruddle
     rides the king through the puddle

     walking the dogs
     the girls on clogs
     and straight straight straight
     rides the king through the gate

     and lurch lurch lurch
     rides the king through the church
     now one two three
     I don't know anymore

Poem 1191
Amsterdam, 2017-03-11

In memory of Riet O at the end of her life
Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Dementia 
Dedicated to: Riet O 
 

On her piano,

she played, I am just pinging --


around the silence.


Op haar pianoAuf ihrem Klavier
speelde ze, nu pingel ik --spielte sie, ich schlage nur --
om de stilte heen.in aller Stille.

Poem H0501
Amsterdam, 2013-07-10

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Missing:  
 

Zywa Maar het gemis

Alles gaat door
ook mijn leven
stort niet in
maar het gemis

De wond die in mij bloedt
om wat had kunnen zijn
dat warme bloed
dat gemis

Jij kende mij
zoals ik gekend wil zijn
zo dubbel
is mijn gemis

Jouw schoonheid
moeten gaan zien
in andere wonderen
van mensen

in het gemis
van jouw vriendschap
ons aanraakbaar samen
bestaan, dat gemis

zal blijven

Poem 1786
Amsterdam, 0000-00-00

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Missing:  
 

The stones from beaches

and rivers I collected:


preserved time at home.


Stenen van strandenSteine von Stränden
en rivieren in mijn huis --und Flüsse in meinem Haus --
houden de tijd vast.halten die Zeit fest.

Poem H0299
Train Amsterdam-Terborg, 2012-06-30

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Memory: of places 
 

Zywa Webgarden

I know the taste of rain
and how bitter herbs cut
in my tongue – everything edible
tasted and destructively processed
into a garden of memories

with paths of love to beds
of friendship and borders of vice
stakes of anger, ponds of sadness
and a smelly compost heap
of failures and wilted ideals

it sounds more orderly than the maze
it is, the web in which I got lost
of which the threads have become thin
and matte, breaking easily
in the merciless sun

that has evaporated
the glittering drops of dew
of the sky-blue illusions from my youth
and everyone calls it wisdom
that comes with age

to detach people
from their desires and last
physical discomforts
but I discovered
it's a secret

Poem 1217
Amsterdam, 2017-03-14

Collection: Webgarden 
Keyword: Memory: 
 

Zywa
     Collection:   Webgarden
GroupGermanDutch5-7-5
PencilPumiceRainLoves
CompressedBirdsIflessPhoto